Ask Yourself Why?
Understanding why your ex dumped you. Now, you may have heard that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. You’ve heard that, right? Well, this just ends. It’s true. Before you can ever fix a problem, you have got to get down to the nitty-gritty and find out what the real problem was in the first place. So, let’s take this back and go back to the basics.
Why was your ex attracted to you in the first place? Now, despite what you may think, it’s not your remarkable good looks. It’s not your sweet car. It’s probably not your money unless of course there are gold diggers. If that’s the case, then they are not worth your time anyways. Now, the reality is it’s none of that. They were attracted to you because of your personality and how you acted bottom line.
This is why every now and then you’ll see an ugly nerd walking around town holding hands with a blond bombshell or the occasional amazing girl out there who has a jerk for a boyfriend. Now, you’ve seen it a thousand times.
You’ve always wondered to yourself, “Why is it that this girl who’s got so many amazing things going on for her, why does she always seem to get caught up with losers for a boyfriend?”
Now the truth is, as big of jerks that some of these guys may be they still exhibit some of the core qualities that she looks for in a guy such as confidence and security.
Now, the good news is that since you work together with your ex for awhile, that means that you must have done something right. You had the qualities. You flipped on the right switches maybe without even realizing it. Now, your ex was attracted to you because of your behavior. Now, the attraction has fizzled. The reason why is because of your behavior. So, what changed? Well, that’s what we need to find out.
Now, the number one killer of all attraction is insecurity. If you’ve been acting jealous, then that’s probably the problem right there. Acting jealous puts up a big red flag and tells your ex, “I feel threatened by other men or women because deep down inside, I don’t view myself as worthy of you.” There is nothing less attractive than that.
If that’s been your mistake then be willing to change. Now, loosen up a little bit. Be OK with your ex hanging out with friends or other guys or girls. Don’t feel threatened because at the end of the day, you get to take them home. They come back home with you. So, don’t worry about it.
This is another big turn-off. We as humans rebel against anything that tries to control us. It’s in our nature. It’s the way we work. Teachers, parents, the law, the government, all these things, we don’t like them because they try to control us. Naturally, we try to break the rules and rebel. If your ex thinks that you become too controlling then they are going to rebel and try to break free.
Another question, who’s wearing the pants in the relationship? Now, this one is more specifically geared towards guys but ladies pay close attention too. So guys, are you being the strong alpha male leader that she wants you to be? Are you?
If she asks, “Where do you want to eat?”
Do you tell her, “I don’t know, where do you want to eat?”
If she asks you, “Where do you want to go?”
Do you say, “I don’t know, where do you want to go?”
Do you oftentimes find yourself compromising what you want to do just because you think it’s what’s going to make her happy? Now, if you’re doing it, stop it. Girls want a guy to step up to the plate and take the wheel. So, do it. Cowboy up and put your boots on. Now, don’t get me wrong. For a relationship to work, you are definitely going to need to start making some compromises.
If she’s got ideas of fun things to do or cool movies to watch, then by all means, do it. But, there’s a big difference between making a few compromises and compromising everything by being too afraid to say what you feel. If you found yourself switching roles and becoming more and more meek and timid, afraid to take the lead, then that right there could be your problem.
Also, something else that’s definitely worth mentioning that maybe the thing which broke the camel’s back. Now ladies, men crave admiration. They want to be adored. So ladies, have you been adoring your man? Are you making him feel special? Ask yourself that question. A lot of times what happens is this. Girls just stop trying because they don’t think they have to try to impress their man since they already got him.
What they do is they end up start going outside without makeup. They stop dressing up. They start wearing sweat pants around, etc. While you might not think it is a big deal, it is. All these stuff has a really big impact on guys. It makes them feel less and less adored.
The same is true for ladies. Guys, women want to be appreciated. The question now to you is are you appreciating them? Do you appreciate the little notes that she leaves for you? Do you appreciate the cards that she sends you? How about the times that she calls you up and leaves you sweet little messages on your phone at work? If you do appreciate it, do you let her know? Think about it. More often than not, you probably don’t.
These are just a few ideas that you should think about. Think about what the problem may be because only then will you be able to fix it. If you’d like to find out the full scoop and the biggest reasons why your relationship ended and what you can do right now to save your relationship, then be sure to check out The Ex Recovery System Review.