I get asked by lots and lots of people. They asked me “Jealee, what is the ONE best way that I can use today and get my ex back and have them in my arms tomorrow?”
The truth is there’s no ONE best way to get you ex back. You see, getting your ex back is a process.
You see, all these kind of questions can only lead to one simple answer. Learn the process.
You have to learn that process to get your ex back. You have to learn this process to win him or her back. Once you learned the process, then you can apply it to your situation and then you can get your ex back. This is the process and this is typically what happened after the break up and what you need to do to get your ex back. I make it very simple for you.
How to Win Him or Her Back – The One Simple Process That You Need To Understand
After break up, the person that did the heart breaking is resenting. The person that got the heart broken is panicking and they are typically doing things that are going to push their ex further away such as calling them like 3 a.m in the morning. You’re harassing them, talking to their friends or family. While you’re doing all this things, no matter if they are right or wrong, all these doings are pushing them further away.
Whatever you do, whatever you say, they don’t want to hear or see you or nothing to do with you because they’re resenting. Not until you overcome this stage and your ex overcome this stage, you will never be able to do any head weight. You will never be able to “strategize your planning”.
The first step in the process to get your ex back is getting over the break up. If you can’t realize the fact that you can live without your ex and get over them completely and make them feel like you’re doing just great without them, you’ll never get them back because you never get that self-control and they never want to be back with you because the truth is people want what they can’t have. If your ex feels like they can have you whenever they want, then I can handle the desire to watch your back but if you raise your perceived value and make your ex realize that “Hey, they’re doing great, other people want to be with them. Well I kind of want them back”, you see? Once you get over a break up then things become easy because that’s the hard part.
There is no magic on how to win him or her back, everything is a process.
Once you get over a break up, typically it takes about month, maybe even two months depending how bad the break up was. After you get over the break up then you can try to re-establish contact with the ex assuming they are over the break up also. Now, you can call your ex.
There are so many things you can do.
Let’s say you want to try to call your ex. So call your ex, you want fill them up. Typically when you call your ex if you had no contact for at least a month, they are already wanting to talk to you because even if they’re mad at you, even if they hate you, the fact that you’ve been gone for a long time is going to make them curious and interested to what you have been up to.
In a sense, they’re going to want to talk to you rather than hating you. When you call your ex, you want to fill them out. That’s it. Talk to them and say “Hey! How are you doing?” If you can get good vibes from them, have a good conversation. Now this conversation should not last more than 5 minutes. If it is good, then at the end of the conversation you could say “Hey, you know what? We should get together for lunch and coffee and hang out for 30 minutes or so. What do you say?…” Simple right?
Now when you ask them out, you have to say it with confidence. Your ex may say “yes” or may say “no” but the fact that you’re not asking “I want a date”, it’s not going to make them feel threatened or it’s not going to really bother them because it’s such a minor thing. Lunch or coffee for 30 minutes, it’s not a big deal. Now if your ex says “no” or “maybe”, what you want to do is you want to reinforce that possible probability. What you want to say is “Hey you know what, it’s just lunch. It’s just coffee. It’s only 30 minutes. No big deal. Let’s just get together for a little bit and hang out.” You see. You’re reinforcing a fact that it is not a big deal. Convince them. Because it really is NOT a big deal.
Let’s say for example your ex is seeing somebody. They might say “Well you know what, coffee sounds great and I love to hang out with you but I don’t think it would be a good idea because I’m seeing so and so”. Now don’t be bothered about this. If you want to win him or her back you have to be smart.
This is what you’d say “Oh good that’s great! I’m glad to hear that. Well I’m hoping that you and so and so are getting together just fine. It shouldn’t be problem. I mean does he or she trusts you?”
Most of the time they would reply “Yeah they trust me”.
Then you say “Well it’s not a big deal then. Let’s get together, hang out for lunch or coffee for 30 minutes on the following week or following Saturday and we’ll have a great time for 30 minutes to catch up. It won’t be a big deal because so and so trusts you so who cares”. That’s it.
Now when you get together with him or her, it has only to be 30 minutes. You want to make it very short. You’re going to get together and have a great time and not to talk about the break up, relationship or anything. When you get together, let’s say your ex brings up the past, what you say is “You know what, I know you may have some unresolved feelings. I know. But right now is not the time to talk about it. Right now, me and you need some more time to get over of what happened and move on. Maybe some time in the future we can talk about it”.
When you say this and your ex brings up the past while seeing each other at the outing, you will sound pathetic if you say “I don’t want to talk about it”. It’s going to turn him or her off. It’s going to feel that you don’t care. If they bring up the past, talk to them about it and don’t sound pathetic.
Now this outing is going to last for 30 minutes. This outing, you want to end it at the climax. People love climaxes. If you come up with the climax, you will continue it later on. Typically 30 minutes into this outing, lunch or coffee or whatever it is you are doing, that’s where you’re going to reach the climax. Then you will say “You know what, I have to be going and I have a lot of things to do. I’m very busy”. Then, just end it. “We have to get going. It’s been about 30 minutes or so. I really have to be going here. I’m glad you had a good time”. At the end, you don’t want to initiate another outing. You want to leave that to your ex. You want them to ask you back out.
How to win him or her back after a break up is like a theory that is proven to work. You just have to follow it.
After this outing, if they ask you out, great, if don’t, that’s fine. Then you might want to wait a week or so for them to call you and ask you out. Let’s assume that they don’t ask you out. Well then you can call them within a week or so and say “Hey, would you like to hang out together”. Just the same thing you said on the first call on the first outing.
Now typically if you can get the first outing, you need the second one. You need the second one, you get the third one. Now after the third outing, this is when you move up to dating. After the third outing, you build up some rapport and then you can ask her for a date. You’ll say “Hey well, we should get together for a movie, ice skating or whatever”. You can even start dating. You already have three emotional dates. By that time, she’d be able to get back together. Then if you make it this far, get over the break up, go on outings, and go on dates, here’s what you do.
You don’t say “Hey we should get back together”.
Here’s what you want to say, when sitting down with each other, where it’s quiet and watching TV, “Didn’t we make a great couple?”. Sitting there, they might say yes or no. before you ask them this question, you want first give them a good mood, talk a little bit, build a rapport and ask them “Didn’t we make a great couple?”
Now when you ask them this question, it’s going to make them think. First you have them in a positive state of mind because you’ve already seeing each other, being going out on outings and dates. When you ask them this question, they will tell you yes or no. if they say no, that’s fine and if they say yes “Yeah we’ve been a great couple”.
Then you can ask them “Maybe we should get back together?”
You have them on hooked. If they says yes on the first question, well that puts them in a “yes” state of mind and then they should yes to the second question. First, you get them to say yes once so typically is easy for them to say yes again. When you asked them this question “Didn’t we make a great couple?” It will determine if they just want to be friends or if they actually want to be together. That’s the brief process of getting back together with an ex after a break up.
Now if you noticed why you’re doing all these things, you’re being elusive and persuasive. The whole time, you got to make your ex feel like you don’t want to get back together. If you apply any kind of pressure while doing these things, your ex will going to feel forced and they’re going to back off and might lose complete interest in you once again.
So how to win him back? How to win her back? I hope by now you can see the clear picture on how to approach your ex after a break up.
This is a brief process, I hope this post has helped you. If you need any help in getting your ex back together, I can help you. Read my free report “No #1 Secret To Get Your Ex Back Quickly & Easily”. Everything is inside the report. And it’s yours for free. And if you’re serious to get your ex back, check out The Ex Recovery System Review.
I’ll talk to you soon.
Have a good day and bye.