The No #1 Myths Exposed – If You Get This Wrong, You Will Risk Your Chance Of Getting Back With Your Ex
It’s entitled the biggest myth about getting your ex back and how to avoid it.
You know, it’s kind of surprising, but with all of the advice out there on how to get your ex back and God knows, there’s plenty, this is something that no one ever talks about. Most of the time people are talking about, focus on things like no contact or limited contact, what things you should say, improving yourself, etc. Which is true!
But in this post, I’m going to show you why this, by itself, is counterproductive and can even harm your chances. What I’m about to share is the number one difference between people who get great results with their ex and those who see them go off to be with someone else.
Oh, and by the way, in case you’re wondering, in my experience there is almost nothing that is unrecoverable in a relationship. That means that even if you think you’ve made every mistake, or that you could never have another chance, don’t worry. Because once you stop doing the things that don’t work, once you stop pushing your ex away and start doing the things that do begin re-attracting them again, you can see a fast and sometimes immediate turn around.
See, the myth is this:
That you have to do or say things in the right way. Or another version of the same, another way to put it is, once you get it right, you get the right magic words or the right dirty tricks, then and only then, your ex will come running back to you.
Why is this the thing that can push your ex farther away? Because when we’re under pressure, most of us don’t act like ourselves and we don’t feel like ourselves. Let me ask you this: Since your breakup, you’ve probably done or said things you normally never would, haven’t you? And this is because you’ve felt all this pressure, all of this panic. And with all of the pressure, we started to second guess everything.
- Should I send that text?
- Should I call to apologize?
- Should I let them know how much I love them?
- Did I say that right?
- Should I have said something differently?
- If I did, would he or she come back to me already?
And all of these questions and all of this self-doubt is a problem. And with every step we become more desperate and needy and you push your ex farther away. It’s this self-doubt, this lack of confidence, the lack of being who your ex fell in love with in the first place, that ruins your chances.
You see, when we’re so fixed on how to do it right, we lose the essence of who we are, that essence that made your ex crazy about you in the first place.
And thinking that you have to do things just right, or that you can’t make any mistakes, is like a self-doubt factory. The reality, and unfortunately the problem, is that it’s natural to freak out, panic, lack of insecurity and imagine your ex with someone else. If someone has broken up with you and you’re not talking to them and they’re not returning your calls, it’s natural to have these emotions. But what do we do with them?
Well, it’s important to know that no one ever gets it right. There’s this idea that when we get broken up with, that you’ve got to do it right, but nobody ever does. In every relationship, even the best ones, it’s just two people who are doing their best and making plenty of mistakes along the way. And in those relationships, those disagreements, arguments, and fights help to foster intimacy, not destroy it.
So how can this be the case for you?
How can you use this to make your ex crazy about you instead of pushing them away? Well, it’s the C-C-S formula. Clarity leads to conviction, which leads to success.
See, once you have clarity, knowing exactly what you want and not just what you don’t want. So often, after we get dumped, we know what we don’t want, we don’t want them to be with someone else, we don’t want to not be with them, and we don’t want them to not return our calls.
But when we get sparkling clarity of exactly what we want, then we are able to move to the next step… which is conviction. The belief that what we are going after is worth it, even in spite of the difficulty. And you’ve done this before, you’ve done this in a new job, you’ve done this in a new hobby. If you’ve taken up the guitar or learned how to program a computer or even learned a new video game, nothing that we do at first is easy, but there’s conviction that sees us through and when you have conviction about your relationship, when you have conviction about the person that you want to be with, that comes through and it is powerful. And that conviction you want to be with this person in spite of the difficulty leads to success and it makes your ex feel for you the way they did at first and you will allow them to feel the pleasure of desiring you again.
Let me tell you what I mean. You see, when you have this conviction, you come across as trustworthy. Instead of just being reactive and your ex feeling like you’re just trying to get them back because you lost them, they feel this powerful attraction. It’s like a tractor beam that draws them in. And really, when you do it right, it’s irresistible.
You see, the thing is, is that people only see us the way that we see ourselves. And so when we go through a break up, we begin to get down on ourselves and we start to, as we said, self-doubt. And then that informs your ex on how to treat you.
Let me give you a story from my own life. I once dated this girl briefly. And I had been a real jerk, honestly, I had just not treated her very well and I was ashamed of myself, honestly. I was embarrassed. And when I saw her, I had two choices. One, I could act embarrassed and self-conscious, which would only, you know, make it worse. Or I could go in with a smile and with confidence and with conviction that even though I had messed up, that’s not who I am. And who I am is better than that. And as a result, as I walked in with this beaming confidence and this conviction of me being better than how I had acted, that gave her a clue on how to treat me.
Now, there’ve been plenty of times when I’ve done it the other way and walked in and been very self-conscious and worried about other people’s opinions, and what that does is it only pushes them farther away.
See, what we have to do is allow our strong emotions to work for us, not against us. That’s why the entire first module of the Ex Recovery System is devoted to recreating that clarity, confidence, conviction and success. You see, this system that was created to help you get your ex back is the same system that I’ve used and thousands of other people have used. And the most important part is getting you back to being you. Once you do that, you gain such momentum and you see such a difference in your ex, even if they’ve been stonewalling you and ignoring you up until that point.
The system will guide you step by step through how to take control of those negative emotions and flip them around to be empowering instead of the self-doubt factory that they can be. After you go through module one, you’ll feel way more confident and you’ll notice that the panic, fear, and desperation is a thing of the past.
The whole module is broken down the process of reconnecting with your ex into baby steps, so that you’ll know exactly what to do and most importantly, when to do it. It’ll also give you some new, never seen before strategies to getting your ex to call you back. And no, I’m not talking about the “call and thank them for something and tell them to call you back so that you can tell them in person.” That’s way too cheesy and I just don’t endorse that, it’s not even authenticate.
All in all, the Ex Recovery System is unlike anything else available today because it was created by someone who was once in your same shoes now. The fact is, listen, every relationship requires support. And this is nowhere more needed than when things are rocky. Look around. Look at the people who have the most vibrant and happy relationships. Look at the people who are able to sustain arguments and disagreements. It’s those people who have support from others. And when you’re in this situation, it can feel very lonely and very isolating to be by yourself trying to get back with your ex. And that’s why I am here to support you.
When things are difficult, we don’t know what to do and that’s when we need help the most, it just makes sense.
Look, no one wants to go through something this traumatic on their own. I know I didn’t and from the people that I’ve talked to in the Ex Recovery System, one of the best benefits of being a member is that feeling of camaraderie, that feeling of being able to not feel alone.
So tell me this: If not now, then when? If it’s not now that you decide to take control of your love life and get your ex back in a way that you create, and not just hope and pray that it will work, when will you?
I look forward to hearing your story.